Trials are Joy... When God is our Goal

Lately I have felt like someone put a ton of bricks on my chest.

Some moments, it is all I can do to catch my breath.

Today marks 6 months since we signed our referral for our
precious little ones...

We thought at this point we would have been through court and maybe even into our investigation period with the U.S. embassy.   
That is not the case.  Instead, we are still at the beginning.
Waiting... Hoping... Dreaming...

Don't get me wrong.  We knew this process would require waiting. 
But this long of a wait at the beginning was 
definitely not expected.

Last month we got news that gave us Hope... 

This month nothing....  No word... No significant updates... 

no movement.
  

I started a bible study on the book of James by Beth Moore 
I read this quote last week and it made me laugh.

"Normalcy spouted wings and 
flew like a raven to the wilderness"
HA!  This is so my life right now.  
My normal has definitely sprouted wings and flown away.  
Far away.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  Because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything  
James 1:2-4

These verses have really been on my heart lately.  
(Probably because I am doing a bible study on the book of James)
I have wanted to this bible study for a long time 
and there is no doubt in my mind 
God had these words for me for this exact time and season. 

About a year ago our family took a trip to 
the Adirondack Mountians in New York.  
We camped and Hiked for the entire week.  
We faced many challenges during this trip...
sick kids, extremely cold weather for that time of year, 
and some difficult hikes.  
But it was all so worth it to see the views.
The pictures you see in this blog are from that trip.

Am I really choosing JOY?
JOY...on the days I want to crawl back in bed?
Joy... when I feel like a ton of bricks are on my chest?  
JOY...In all of the unknown?
JOY...in all of these difficult trials?

Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds?
What does that even mean?
Seriously?!?!?
Is it really even possible?  
To choose true Joy in all circumstances of life?
Even the hard ones?

Is this really saying I should consider it pure joy 
that 6 months have gone by with very little progress?  
How can I do this when I know there are
two little ones waiting for their new mama and papa to come?
Am I really suppose to put on a smile when their brothers ask
(almost every day) "when are they are coming home?" 
and I have to tell them 
"I do not know"

This whole idea seems completely absurd!
It is so not normal!

But thankfully...
My normal flew out the door when I decided to follow Jesus!
And I am ok with that.

I can have JOY in all circumstances because of Him.
Trials will always come and go. Some bigger than others.
But if I am always looking to fix the circumstance, 
I am going to be in for endless frustration, anxiety, and worry.
I will never find joy.  
There will always be another trial around the next corner.

As I look back over the past 6 months 
most things on this journey have not gone as planned. 
It has been some of the most difficult months of my life. 

So what is the goal of these trials?
Just to get through them?  So I can be met with another? 
Or could there be more? 

As a follower of Christ... 
I believe my ultimate goal in life is so much more than 
just trying to get through a difficult circumstance. 
My ultimate Goal in life is...
to know God more.
To perservere so that I can Mature in Him.

David Platt says... 
Trials are Joy...when God is our Goal.
God has been so gracious to reveal this to me. 

I am realizing more and more that God is using this time 
to help me know Him more, 
to refine me as I wait, to teach me who he is, and
to grow me in his likeness.

I believe this is what James meant when he wrote...
"Consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds"

Because of this... I can say I am learning to

walk these trials with Pure Joy.
Lets be honest... I am human so somedays are still difficult. 
But God is so faithful! 

He continues to teach me and increase by faith. 
What more could I ask for?

So while life has not been normal...
I will persevere. I will choose Joy...
everyday through every circumstance of life.

I can actually say that "I count it as pure joy" 
that life has not been completely normal. 

Instead it has been a journey.
A journey that has allowed me 
to know God deeper.  

I wrote this in my journal:

Following God goes against the normal of this world.  

It means not getting comfortable.

It means letting go of my own plans 

and learning to expect the unexpected so that 

I can say..."Yes" to His call at any moment. 

It means that in all of the trials, I will continue to walk in faith... 

To persevere in all things... To choose Joy in all circumstances 

because I know that He is maturing my faith in  him so that 

I will lack nothing in the knowledge of Him.

What if this became my new normal? 

I believe He goes before us and prepares the way 

so that in all things we can know Him and His Glory more.  

I am praising God today for this little reminder....  and letting go of Normal.

I am learning to embrace my new normal...

• I have four children, but two of them live over 7000 miles away from me.  They call us Mama and Papa and we have told we are coming to get them as a soon as we can, but truthfully we do not actually know when that will happen.
• I Stare at 2D pictures of these children that I can not hold, praying for their safety, wishing I was the one giving them kisses and tucking them in at night.
• I check my email a gazillion times a day to see if any case update or picture has been sent.
• I am learning to not freak out every time new news about international adoption is released.
• I am choosing Joy even when everything in me wants to scream, cry, and run away.

I can actually have Joy in trials!  
Because through it I am learning 
to fix my eyes on the real goal in life.
Jesus!
To live life for His reward.

To trust in His wisdom... Not my own intelligence.
To rely solely on him... No my own strength.
To be made into his likeness.

This is the goal I will live for.
To know that there will be a day I will be with Him.
 It is my goal to receive the crown of Grace and hear my heavenly father say...
Well done good and faithful servant... 
You have fought the good fight, you have finished the race.  
You have kept the faith! 

This is my Goal 
and because of it...
I consider it Pure Joy as I face the trials ahead.

 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.  Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.
2 Timothy 4:7-8

I do want to make a Side note: 
(there could be a whole other post on this) 
I know there are some people out there that ask
"Why would God do or let these bad things happen"  
I will say thatI do not believe God
makes these trials happen on purpose.  
We live in a fallen world.  
Because of this, our world is not perfect.  
God is working to restore this world to perfection.  
Part of this restoration is Him working in our lives 
to restore us.  True perfection means to know God completely.  
To lack nothing about the knowledge of him.
God does not cause these circumstances to happen 

but he can use them to refine and teach us about him 
so that in end we can wear the crown of Grace and say "We have run the race".  Knowing that eternal life is our prize.

Sorry... I could not help myself.

Just one more pic... Are they not the cutest?!?!?!